We Are So Much More Than Our Age - What Alzheimer's Can Teach Us
Photo by Rod Long on UnsplashThe idea for this week's blog was sparked by a recent Linkedin post discussing the Forbes "50 over 50" list, The list showcases inspiring women who have stepped into their power and are achieving significant success at over 50 (Kamala Harris being one of them).
While I love the fact that "older" women are getting out there, speaking up, leading and (finally) being recognised, I am in two minds about the post's focus on a woman's age.
A riddle wrapped in a conundrum inside an enigma
Because, in matters of age, (wo)mankind is a riddle wrapped in a conundrum inside an enigma. We love the concept of living long, yet we hate the idea of growing old. We are told to embrace our age, yet once we hit thirty, we want to be told we look young(er), even if it means delving into the costly and complex world of anti-age creams, lotions, potions and pills. And as the number of candles on the birthday cake increases with every lived year, so does the temptation to move to more radical and invasive age-defying treatments. Anything to erase the visible signs of the life we have led.
Age discrimination is (still) very real
To add fuel to the fire, we have to deal with age discrimination, especially in the workplace, and not just against older people (I am over fifty by the way): while the no longer young face being rejected for a job because a potential employer doesn't want an "oldie", young people often get passed over or are paid less for jobs because they are deemed too young.
Speaking from own past experience, I recall being told by an employer that while he was "delighted" with my work, he felt I was "too young" to be promoted. When, some two months later, I informed him of my decision to go back to evening school to get another degree, he looked at me in astonishment and said "Don't you think you are too old to be going back to school?"
Too young? Too old?
Too young to be promoted? Too old to go back to school? I had obviously missed the age opportunity boat that I didn't even know existed.
Experiences like the one just described make it hard to ignore the age factor.
But that is precisely what we must do.
I haven't always seen it that way.
But then a loved one was diagnosed with Alzheimer's.
This horrific disorder attacks a person’s brain, robbing them of their past memories and preventing them from making new ones. It also involves a decline in a person’s thought process and reasoning skills. Alzheimer’s is a merciless assailant that wreaks havoc in the life of those afflicted and their families. It leaves people feeling scared, helpless and hopeless. Anyone afflicted with or affected by Alzheimer’s will agree that it is an emotional roller-coaster journey into the unknown. Compassion, resilience and tenacity are part and parcel of the humanity that this disease demands.
What Alzheimer's can teach us
With all the trials and tribulations that come with Alzheimer’s, it is easy to overlook the invaluable lessons that can be drawn from it. There are many. The one I'm about to share with you is as simple as it is powerful:
There is no such thing as the perfect age to be.
But there is such thing as the perfect moment to have.
When I spend time with that beloved person there is no past and there is no future. What we have is the moment we are in. Our focus is and has to be on what's in front of us. If it's a flower, we will count the petals. We will smell the scent, admire the colour, marvel at its beauty. PERFECT in every respect. In moments like these, nothing else matters. Age? Who cares! It has no meaning. It doesn’t matter.
We are so much more than our age
We are all so much more than our age and the labels we choose to attach to it. Perfect moments know no age boundaries. They are out there for us to grab. We just need to recognise them.
So, next time you feel pressured by the age factor, consider the following:
f you are spending precious time worrying about your (increasing) age, remember that you will never be as young again as you are at this very moment. And you can make it a perfect one.
Don't let the limitations of others convince you that you are too young or too old for whatever opportunity, challenge or prospect that comes your way. You are the captain at the helm, deciding where to venture to.
And whenever you are having a rough day at work or elsewhere, pause to consider what it would take to create a perfect moment. Could it be as simple as enjoying a cup of tea, changing your desktop picture, phoning a friend or simply marvelling at every breath you take? The choice is all yours.
Enough said, except to wish you a splendid Friday awash with perfect moments!
Till next week.
Mila
