Disempowering the Power of Ugly
The plan for this week's blog had been to write about the "Exclamation Mark”.
But the power of Ariyonna convinced me otherwise. Punctuation can wait...
Ariyonna
I am dedicating this post to Ariyonna, the beautiful five-year-old girl who sees her reflection in the mirror and says “I am ugly”. If you haven’t seen the video yet, click here to watch.
That heart-breaking clip touched me to the core. How can a five-year-old so firmly believe she’s ugly? I thank the universe for Ariyonna’s strong and supportive hairdresser shown in the video, who is there to console her, to protect her, to comfort her and to tell her “You are beautiful!”. And I pray that, some day, the power of supportive women and men will be strong enough to erase the power of ugly, for good.
One of many
I must have been living under a rock as, apparently, the video was first posted in 2019 and has been watched by millions of viewers since.
As one of those many million viewers, I say: “You are beautiful, Ariyonna!”
As one of the many million viewers touched by it, I wish I could make the pain of that ugly belief go away.
As one of the many million privileged white viewers, I wish I could say I truly understand what it feels like to not be white.
As one of the many million female viewers, I wish I could say Ariyonna is the exception to the rule.
As one of the many million viewers who have been told, and believed, they are ugly, I wish I could say there’s an easy way to unbelieve.
As one of the many million mothers of a beautiful daughter, I wish I could unequivocally say I have always been as affirmative as Ariyonna’s hairdresser was in that clip.
This is a huge, difficult, sensitive, painful, personal and controversial topic. It is one that affects far too many of us, in ways that only each of those affected can describe.
I cannot speak for others. But I can speak for myself.
Maya, Frida and Ruth
I can choose to have the wisdom of other women speak to me. Trailblazing women like the great Maya Angelou, who was so much more than just an author, the magnificent Frida Kahlo, who was so much more than just an artist, and the incredible Ruth Myer Ginsburg, who was so much more than just a Supreme Court justice.
These are just three examples of empowering beacons of light who defied seemingly unsurmountable odds with their talent, tenacity and truth. They have left us with powerful legacies to live by, not just by virtue of extraordinary achievements in their respective fields, but by refusing to be defined by a single trait or characteristic.
As we work on deconstructing destructive beliefs about ourselves, let us not fall prey to a new, but equally skewed belief that a single trait, in this case physical appearance, can or should ever define who we are. We are the sum total of a wonderfully wild array of different things. That’s what makes us unique – and that’s what makes us human.
Ariyanna has shone her radiant light, leaving no room for ugliness. She is so much more than just beautiful.
Thank you for reading. See you next week!
Mila
