Do You Know What Drives You?

The photo shown above is a picture of Lola, my eight-year-old Fiat 500. "She" also happens to share her name with our rescue cat. But that’s food for another story. 

The truth is: I know nothing about cars. If a vehicle has four wheels and an engine, that’s good enough for me. I choose to give names to my cars because it makes riding in them a little more personal – especially when stuck in traffic and with no one else to pass the time with. 

So, for the record, I’m clearly not into cars. Having said that, if it weren't for cars, I may well be on a different career journey. 

Here's what happened:

Back in the day (= many years ago), I landed a posh job with a multinational company. It was a major career breakthrough for me. I was overjoyed and excited to be on such a promising professional path. It also came with a posh title and a nice pay cheque. I distinctly remember my first day in my new position, thinking: “You’ve made it. The only way is up.” 

Six months into the job, and I was feeling many things, but none that even remotely resembled a sense of achievement. Unfortunately (for me), I had let all and sundry know about my “fabulous” new job. This prompted a barrage of questions as to how I was faring. I got really good at producing vague answers, along the lines of “Mmm, yeah, I’m getting into it.” I was, in fact, getting into it. If the feedback from my new boss was anything to go by, I was doing more than OK, surpassing expectations and generally coming across as a happy bunny.

The company was very generous, with bonuses, perks and lavish Christmas gifts thrown in the mix. But, from the start, it also had a whiff of chaos about it. It felt ego-driven, exclusive rather than inclusive, and there was a disconcerting tendency to blame the weakest link when things went wrong. 

I plodded on nonetheless, working hard and believing that if I excelled at my job, I would enjoy being there more.

But time passed, and still no sense of achievement - and definitely no sense of joy. Was this what climbing the career ladder was supposed to feel like? Eighteen months into the job and things just weren’t getting better.

So I resolved to work even harder.

Yet the more I did, the more fraught with doubt I became. And I still wasn’t seeing things for what they really were: I was, in a word, miserable. But instead of changing things, I was digging myself into an even deeper hole.

Until the day I was introduced to the “Car Ladder”. That day changed everything. 

The Car Ladder

It was a Tuesday. I had been working late (as so often) – and so had Paul, the CFO. Our cars happened to be parked next to each other in the company’s underground car park. Mine, a battered Fiat Punto, his, a brand-new shiny SUV. The two vehicles were universes apart in the world of car aficionados. But through my car-ignorant lens, they looked much the same, except that one was big and the other one was small. 

“Ever thought of getting yourself a new car?” Paul asked. “Hmm, not really,” I answered. “Why are you asking?” I felt oddly offended by his question. Surely there was nothing wrong with my car? Paul clearly saw things differently: “Well, you could do much better. You could work towards a promotion. And with a new promotion comes a company car. It won’t be an SUV, of course. But, who knows, you might get there eventually.”

I thanked Paul (a really nice bloke by the way), got into my Fiat Punto and drove off, my mind crystal clear: I didn’t want to work my way up to SUV status. Or put differently: I didn’t fit the company mould. Or put differently again: I wasn’t the right fit for the company.

I handed in my notice the very next day. 

Driven not just by skills, but by values too

Put differently again: I believe I was on the right (skills) path, but I had been barking up the wrong (company) tree. Flattered by being chosen for the position, and obsessed with moving up the career ladder, I had failed to value my values and to pay attention to how they might feed into the career moves I make.

That “Aha!” moment in the underground car park was the eye-opener I needed to see the bigger picture and to understand that perks like lavish Christmas gifts and company cars weren’t doing it for me. My values were crying for good corporate leadership, a culture of fairness and some shared fun and laughter.

It was time I listened to the values that drive me. I stepped away from that position, shaken and more humble - and thankfully wiser for the experience.

That company wasn’t a bad place per se; it just wasn’t the place for me.  

Do you know what drives you?

Each of us is unique, and so is our set of values. Do you know what values drive you? Would you have chosen to stay and step up the car ladder? Any thoughts on this topic are welcome.

Thank you for reading – and till next week, if you fancy. Have a great weekend!

Mila